I recently visited a town in central Maryland called Havre de Grace. It's a quaint little maritime town perched on mouth of the Susquehana River, replete with natural beauty and old-time charm. I visited on the day of their annual art and craft show in the park and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. There was so much beautiful and original jewelry, I just could not resist! I love turquoise and saw the cutest ring and necklace. I thought I was getting the ring for a steal...the sticker said "8"...I was so giddy, I even whispered to a woman standing next to me that I thought the designer was crazy for selling it so cheap. She said something back to me, but in my excitement, I didn't hear her. Well, the joke was on me when I stepped to the register to pay...my bargain-priced "8" ring was actually $52! You got it, the 8 was the size! It hit me right then, that that's what the woman whispered back to me..."the 8 is the size." She probably got a good laugh.
After spending a couple of hours and too much money at the art and craft show, I walked along the promenade. I felt so good being out there that I had this huge smile (probably goofy too) plastered on my face as I strolled along the promenade watching the sailboats dotting the rive as far as my eyes could see. Every now and then a speed boat would whiz leaving in its wake huge waves that rippled and splashed against the rocks creating a little bit of a spray to my face. My walk on the promenade took me to the town's land-based lighthouse -"Concord Point Lighthouse" (I love lighthouses!). I climbed the steep spiral stairs to the top where I had a great view of the river. As much as I loved being up there, there was no ventilation and I decided I'd better make a make a hasty departure lest I melt! Ahhh...my descent, in my cute little faux-jewled sandals, was a bit tricky (it was a breeze going up). You see, I have this tiny fear of heights...I'm good as long as I don't look down. From the cramped tiny space in the crown of the lighthouse, I had to look down and all around to determine how to make my descent in such a manner that wouldn't leave me in a heap at the bottom of the winding stairs. That brief look down caused me some anxiety, so I stayed at the top of the lighthouse a little longer than was physically comfortable while I calmed myself and talked myself down-there were other visitors waiting to climb to the top after all and I was holding them up. Finally, slowly, and I mean slooowwly, I made it back down...step by step, holding so tightly onto the rails that I thought I'd pull one down. That was the one time during that day when I was grateful for the sweltering heat - I could blame my perspiration on the heat rather than my acrophobia-related fear! I mean, seriously, the lighthouse isn't all that tall so it might seem insane for anyone to be afraid of the height. But we all know you can't control what causes fear.
In order for me to come down from the lighthouse, I had to temporarily conquer a longtime fear, and I did. Once I got to the bottom I sat on the bench right outside of the lighthouse bench and just kind of got lost in my thoughts (after thanking the Universe for seeing to my safety). I felt so different that day in Havre de Grace than I did on my first day trip to Solomon's Island. In Havre de Grace, I felt so alive and carefree. I've become comfortable in my skin. I've learned about me - I'm still learning. I realized that overcoming my fear to come down from the lighthouse was more than just about getting out of the lighthouse. It punctuated the fact that basically I've spent the entire summer conquering fears. Regaining confidence. Finding me. As I've taken day trips each weekend this summer, I've grown. I've calmed down. I've shed some of the layers of sadness, anger, and negative emotions and replaced them with hope, strength and positive feelings. I've rediscovered life.
